Wondering Thoughts

My little family and I went away to a festival, enjoying stepping out of reality for a bit - savouring the colours, the flavours, the tunes, the creativity and most of all the time spent with good friends.

In true festival fashion our friends got dressed up and started to sparkle themselves up. Not us, as we were way too disorganised (or busy) to think anything like that up. Another friend of ours decided to have a question mark on his forehead (reasons unknown!), as a symbol for his birthday celebrations. We joined. The question mark became a running theme in my mind without me realising until a well-developed realisation simply fell into my lap.

I was talking to my friend about all things that make life life, with its ups and downs and unique winding points. No, it wasn't over a glass of wine by the fire. It was right next to the sandpit as we were watching our children enjoy the messy times. Yes, even then deep thoughts can come rolling in, we just need to make space and time for it.

As my friend pointed to a huge question mark on the field, I was saying words that are still dancing around in my head now. I would like to share them with you and see whether this is how you experience the world as well.

We often find ourselves looking for the answers, questioning our doing. Was our reaction right or wrong? Why did someone do 'x, y and z'? In my work, I used to think that I needed the answers, too. Over time I had realised that presence was the key to success in my sessions as the answers are already deep inside each individual. We just need to allow time and space for them to grow. Well, maybe not 'the answers' but more the wisdom, the deep inner knowing.

So, as my friend and I were pondering about what is right and wrong, and looking for the answers, this clarity hit me. What if there aren't any answers? What if life is about the question marks scattered around the fields of experience? What if life is all about the unknowns? Swinging from one question mark to the next. What if the answer is to sit with the question mark? And every time we encounter a new question mark, we will find ourselves scurrying around trying to find the answer. 'The answer' what does that even mean with all the endless possibilities around us? Can there be an answer? The clarity told me that sitting with the unknown and uncertainty is the way to be with the question marks. Allow the discomfort of not knowing and sit with it. And once you can comfortably be with it, life throws another big question mark towards you so you can swing over there and scurry around for answers and start the whole process again. Until one day, you will learn that it isn't about the answers. It is about the questions. It is about presence.