The Impact of Thrive

Attune to the Heart

In 2021 I had the opportunity to work with a 6 year old autistic child who had been in fight/ flight almost daily since nursery.

I was working at a school that offers alternative provision for children that have been excluded from their educational setting. We offer one-to-one and small group sessions to help them feel safe within themselves, and then move on to a new setting for a fresh start.

Understanding Thrive’s model of development, it was clear to me that we needed to be on a one-to-one basis due to his ‘being’ needs. His separation anxiety and fear of educational settings resulted in extreme discharge behaviour daily. Facing this kind of emotional dysregulation consistently with PACE and VRFs seemed to bear fruit after about three weeks. It was hard at times, and sometimes I would think “I am not helping this child, I am not right for him.” However, witnessing his careful transformations and celebrating any little sign (and sometimes they were very small) of improvement in his experience of safety was such a powerful and encouraging experience for me. Every single day, in the two hours we would have together, I kept repeating to myself “he needs to feel/ be safe, he needs to feel special, and whatever his needs are, they are going to be met, no matter what”. Having had this as my daily mantra made me slow down, really attune to his heart and interests and experience the world as he experiences it. Through regular co-regulation, he was able to move forward and increase his attention span, and engage in adult initiated activities.

This was a child who would do anything to protect his own personal space, running off with no awareness of road safety. By learning that there was no judgement and no punishment, but rather validation of his feelings and experiences, he began to feel safe enough to allow input from other sources, not just from the safety of his own mind. After working with him on a daily basis for 4 months, offering him predictability, he was able to walk into school like any other child would. He was communicating to adults within the school other than me, and was able to show his true, authentic self - solutions finder, full of empathy, a bright spark in his eyes, a loyal and caring friend, curious and courageous.

My colleagues were astonished by the change. The headteacher asked in surprise, “What have you done? Is this your Thrive?” I nodded.

Working with a 6-year-old autistic child who had experienced daily fight-or-flight moments was a challenging yet immensely rewarding experience. By employing the principles of Thrive and embracing a compassionate, non-judgmental approach, we created an environment of safety and acceptance. It served as a poignant reminder that, with the right support and understanding, every child can thrive and overcome their obstacles, revealing their unique strengths to the world.